http://thebummagnet.blogspot.com/2011/07/booty-call-to-boyfriend-5-ways-to-make.html?m=1
When I first joined Bumble – which I’ve since deleted – I met a cute boy. He was the first boy I ended up meeting in real life from the app.
I thought he was the whole package. Handsome, smart (civil engineer), tall (5’11”), and active/fit.
And his smile looked so sincere and genuine.
Like would you think anything negative about this guy?
I was able to converse with him well, and I thought we had similar values and life goals. We both worked in construction management, and I found I was able to relate with him because of that.
The first time we met was at his place. I was a little hesitant at first because they say guys who do that are just interested in a hook up. But he cooked dinner, and we drank a bit too much wine. It eventually ended in the bedroom, but he was respectful when I said I wasn’t ready to have sex with him.
One flag I ignored when I was swooning over him, was that he was constantly inviting me to hang out at his place. “Want to come over?” “Come over later.” He said he hated trying to get to know someone at public places because it was awkward, that the waiters and everybody would know that it was a first date, and it was difficult to get to know someone. I listened.
He said we weren’t a good fit by the 2nd date, said I had too much emotional baggage, and I really thought it was my fault. I tried to work on myself because I really wanted to see him again. I actually thought he was such a great catch and good match FOR ME that I worried he would be snatched up off the market any moment. How silly, right?
So I sent him sporadic texts here and there. And 2 months since he “broke up” with me (when he said we weren’t a good fit), I started getting late night booty call texts and calls.
I tried to make my intentions clear, but so was he.
And I now realize, how silly was I to think I knew who he really was, or what he intentions were, after I only met him 2x? We were texting for quite a bit in the meantime, but texting only gives the illusion that you are closer to the person than you really are. As I got the later texts, I realize how much I admired his confidence and no-bullshit attitude. He wasn’t afraid to mess up, because he knew it wouldn’t really affect him. I was basically nobody to him, while I had idealized him to be everything to me.
We tend to think of others in a positive light until we really see their negative side, and then we realize that nobody is perfect, no matter how much they try to convey that on a first date. Things like actually being mean and rude extend far beyond what you can see superficially (like being nice to servers doesn’t even necessarily mean he won’t be rude to you).
Lisa in Arch 